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Tips For Single Parenting

by: Shalu | last updated: September 22, 2009
Category: Mom's Favorites: Just for Mom | Tags: tips for single parenting, parenting

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Tips For Single Parenting

Children who are raised by a loving and attentive single parent can and do thrive, often doing as well as children in happy two parent house-holds. But as with every type of the family constellation, there is an up and a down side to single parenting. On the up side, the single parent gets to do things her way; the single parent and her children tend to form stronger bonds than exist in a two-parent family; and the children tend to be more mature and independent at an earlier age. On the down side, there may be more financial hardships, more exhaustion, more isolation, less parental personal time, and sometimes more behavioural problems in the children. Child rearing also takes twice the effort. Parenting a child on your own won’t be easy, but then parenting a child with a partner is not always a piece of cake, either. Of course, you will have to put in extra effort and time to compensate for the absence of another adult in the home. In this guide, I am going to tell you how you can raise a happy and well adjusted child.

Abandon the super parent/worker goal – No parent can do it all and no parent is perfect; struggling for “super” status when you are only human just adds pressure you don’t need.

Accept a helping hand – If it’s impossible to do it all, it’s next to impossible to do it without help. If you don’t get offers, solicit help from family and don’t wait until you are at the breaking point before you turn to others; not just for your own sake, but for your child’s as well. Instead of worrying about “imposing”, consider that anyone who lends a hand will probably reap considerable pleasure out of doing so. To avoid wearing out your welcome, try when possible to spread your requests among several different people, instead of calling on the same one or two all the time.

Take care of yourself – You will need all the strength you can muster to meet the challenges of single parenthood and it’s important to your child that you stay healthy. So be sure you eat well, exercise at least three times a week, get enough rest and see a doctor or a shrink if necessary.

Unwind yourself – Learn stress management techniques. You won’t be able to eliminate all the stress in your life, but you can learn better ways to handle it. Prioritize, organize and relax.

Give yourself a break – Giving to your child and ignoring your own needs benefits no one, and can even leave you feeling angry and resentful. So renew yourself regularly, whether it’s going out with a friend once a week or taking in a movie on your own twice a month; and don’t feel guilty about it.

Give your child plenty of love – Love can make a difference and can make up for a lot you may not have the time, energy or means to give to your child. A child in loving single-parent home, who gets adequate attention and is listened to, respected and disciplined has a better chance of growing up happy and well adjusted than a child in a two-parent home where love is in short supply.

Be generous with your time – For a single-parent, love may be easier to impart compared to time, but it’s nevertheless vital that you spend at least a short time everyday doing something fun with your toddler even if it means that something else which is less important doesn’t get done.

Don’t go easy on your toddler – Maintaining discipline is as essential in single-parent home as in a home with two-parents. Don’t let any guilt you may feel tempt you to ignore misbehaviour. Children of single parents don’t need to be rude, be anti-social or to ignore rules. Nor do they need extra time watching TV, more junk food or regular reprieves from getting ready for bed.

Enlist an opposite-sex role model – Children do better when they spend time with adults of both genders. So find at least one male (or female) relative or friend who is willing to spend some time with your child.

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